amesJoyce
NorthRichmondStreet,beingblind,wasaquietstreetexcetatthehourwhentheChristianBrothers&aos;Schoolsettheboysfree。Anuninhabitedhouseoftwostoreysstoodattheblindend,detachedfromitsneighboursinasquareground。Theotherhousesofthestreet,consciousofdecentliveswithinthem,gazedatoneanotherwithbrownimerturbablefaces。
Theformertenantofourhouse,ariest,haddiedinthebackdrawing-room。Air,mustyfromhavingbeenlongenclosed,hunginalltherooms,andthewasteroombehindthekitchenwaslitteredwitholduselessaers。AmongtheseIfoundafewaer-coveredbooks,theagesofwhichwerecurledanddam:TheAbbot,byWalterScott,TheDevoutCommunicant,andTheMemoirsofVidocq。Ilikedthelastbestbecauseitsleaveswereyellow。Thewildgardenbehindthehousecontainedacentralale-treeandafewstragglingbushes,underoneofwhichIfoundthelatetenant&aos;srustybicycle-um。Hehadbeenaverycharitableriest;inhiswillhehadleftallhismoneytoinstitutionsandthefurnitureofhishousetohissister。
Whentheshortdaysofwintercameduskfellbeforewehadwelleatenourdinners。Whenwemetinthestreetthehouseshadgrownsombre。Thesaceofskyaboveuswasthecolourofever-changingvioletandtowardsitthelamsofthestreetliftedtheirfeeblelanterns。Thecoldairstungusandwelayedtillourbodiesglowed。Ourshoutsechoedinthesilentstreet。Thecareerofourlaybroughtusthroughthedarkmuddylanesbehindthehouseswhereweranthegauntletoftheroughtribesfromthecottages,tothebackdoorsofthedarkdriinggardenswhereodoursarosefromtheashits,tothedarkodorousstableswhereacoachmansmoothedandcombedthehorseorshookmusicfromthebuckledharness。Whenwereturnedtothestreet,lightfromthekitchenwindowshadfilledtheareas。Ifmyunclewasseenturningthecorner,wehidintheshadowuntilwehadseenhimsafelyhoused。OrifMangan&aos;ssistercameoutonthedoorstetocallherbrotherintohistea,wewatchedherfromourshadoweeruanddownthestreet。Wewaitedtoseewhethershewouldremainorgoinand,ifsheremained,weleftourshadowandwalkedutoMangan&aos;sstesresignedly。Shewaswaitingforus,herfiguredefinedbythelightfromthehalf-oeneddoor。Herbrotheralwaysteasedherbeforeheobeyed,andIstoodbytherailingslookingather。Herdressswungasshemovedherbody,andthesoftroeofherhairtossedfromsidetoside。
EverymorningIlayonthefloorinthefrontarlourwatchingherdoor。TheblindwasulleddowntowithinaninchofthesashsothatIcouldnotbeseen。Whenshecameoutonthedoorstemyheartleaed。Irantothehall,seizedmybooksandfollowedher。Iketherbrownfigurealwaysinmyeyeand,whenwecameneartheointatwhichourwaysdiverged,Iquickenedmyaceandassedher。Thishaenedmorningaftermorning。Ihadneversokentoher,excetforafewcasualwords,andyethernamewaslikeasummonstoallmyfoolishblood。
Herimageaccomaniedmeeveninlacesthemosthostiletoromance。OnSaturdayeveningswhenmyauntwentmarketingIhadtogotocarrysomeofthearcels。Wewalkedthroughtheflaringstreets,jostledbydrunkenmenandbargainingwomen,amidthecursesoflabourers,theshrilllitaniesofsho-boyswhostoodonguardbythebarrelsofigs&aos;cheeks,thenasalchantingofstreet-singers,whosangacome-all-youaboutO&aos;DonovanRossa,oraballadaboutthetroublesinournativeland。Thesenoisesconvergedinasinglesensationoflifeforme:IimaginedthatIboremychalicesafelythroughathrongoffoes。HernamesrangtomylisatmomentsinstrangerayersandraiseswhichImyselfdidnotunderstand。Myeyeswereoftenfulloftears(Icouldnottellwhy)andattimesafloodfrommyheartseemedtoouritselfoutintomybosom。Ithoughtlittleofthefuture。IdidnotknowwhetherIwouldeverseaktoherornotor,ifIsoketoher,howIcouldtellherofmyconfusedadoration。Butmybodywaslikeaharandherwordsandgestureswerelikefingersrunninguonthewires。
OneeveningIwentintothebackdrawing-roominwhichtheriesthaddied。Itwasadarkrainyeveningandtherewasnosoundinthehouse。ThroughoneofthebrokenanesIheardtherainimingeuontheearth,thefineincessantneedlesofwaterlayinginthesoddenbeds。Somedistantlamorlightedwindowgleamedbelowme。IwasthankfulthatIcouldseesolittle。Allmysensesseemedtodesiretoveilthemselvesand,feelingthatIwasabouttoslifromthem,Iressedthealmsofmyhandstogetheruntiltheytrembled,murmuring:&aos;Olove!Olove!&aos;manytimes。
Atlastshesoketome。WhensheaddressedthefirstwordstomeIwassoconfusedthatIdidnotknowwhattoanswer。SheaskedmewasIgoingtoAraby。IforgotwhetherIansweredyesorno。Itwouldbeaslendidbazaar;shesaidshewouldlovetogo。
"Andwhycan&aos;tyou?
"Iasked。
Whileshesokesheturnedasilverbraceletroundandroundherwrist。Shecouldnotgo,shesaid,becausetherewouldbearetreatthatweekinherconvent。Herbrotherandtwootherboyswerefightingfortheircas,andIwasaloneattherailings。Sheheldoneofthesikes,bowingherheadtowardsme。Thelightfromthelamoositeourdoorcaughtthewhitecurveofherneck,lituherhairthatrestedthereand,falling,lituthehanduontherailing。Itfelloveronesideofherdressandcaughtthewhiteborderofaetticoat,justvisibleasshestoodatease。
"It&aos;swellforyou,
"shesaid。
"IfIgo,
"Isaid,
"Iwillbringyousomething。
"
Whatinnumerablefollieslaidwastemywakingandsleeingthoughtsafterthatevening!Iwishedtoannihilatethetediousinterveningdays。Ichafedagainsttheworkofschool。AtnightinmybedroomandbydayintheclassroomherimagecamebetweenmeandtheageIstrovetoread。ThesyllablesofthewordArabywerecalledtomethroughthesilenceinwhichmysoulluxuriatedandcastanEasternenchantmentoverme。IaskedforleavetogotothebazaaronSaturdaynight。Myauntwassurrised,andhoeditwasnotsomeFreemasonaffair。Iansweredfewquestionsinclass。Iwatchedmymaster&aos;sfaceassfromamiabilitytosternness;hehoedIwasnotbeginningtoidle。Icouldnotcallmywanderingthoughtstogether。Ihadhardlyanyatiencewiththeseriousworkoflifewhich,nowthatitstoodbetweenmeandmydesire,seemedtomechild&aos;slay,uglymonotonouschild&aos;slay。
OnSaturdaymorningIremindedmyunclethatIwishedtogotothebazaarintheevening。Hewasfussingatthehallstand,lookingforthehat-brush,andansweredmecurtly:
"Yes,boy,Iknow。
"
AshewasinthehallIcouldnotgointothefrontarlourandlieatthewindow。Ifeltthehouseinbadhumourandwalkedslowlytowardstheschool。Theairwasitilesslyrawandalreadymyheartmisgaveme。
WhenIcamehometodinnermyunclehadnotyetbeenhome。Stillitwasearly。Isatstaringattheclockforsometimeand,whenitstickingbegantoirritateme,Ilefttheroom。Imountedthestaircaseandgainedtheuerartofthehouse。Thehigh,cold,emty,gloomyroomsliberatedmeandIwentfromroomtoroomsinging。FromthefrontwindowIsawmycomanionslayingbelowinthestreet。Theircriesreachedmeweakenedandindistinctand,leaningmyforeheadagainstthecoolglass,Ilookedoveratthedarkhousewhereshelived。Imayhavestoodthereforanhour,seeingnothingbutthebrown-cladfigurecastbymyimagination,toucheddiscreetlybythelamlightatthecurvedneck,atthehanduontherailingsandattheborderbelowthedress。
WhenIcamedownstairsagainIfoundMrsMercersittingatthefire。Shewasanold,garrulouswoman,aawnbroker&aos;swidow,whocollectedusedstamsforsomeiousurose。Ihadtoendurethegossiofthetea-table。Themealwasrolongedbeyondanhourandstillmyuncledidnotcome。MrsMercerstoodutogo:shewassorryshecouldn&aos;twaitanylonger,butitwasaftereighto&aos;clockandsedidnotliketobeoutlate,asthenightairwasbadforher。WhenshehadgoneIbegantowalkuanddowntheroom,clenchingmyfists。Myauntsaid:
"I&aos;mafraidyoumayutoffyourbazaarforthisnightofOurLord。
"
Atnineo&aos;clockIheardmyuncle&aos;slatchkeyinthehalldoor。Iheardhimtalkingtohimselfandheardthehallstandrockingwhenithadreceivedtheweightofhisovercoat。Icouldinterretthesesigns。WhenhewasmidwaythroughhisdinnerIaskedhimtogivemethemoneytogotothebazaar。Hehadforgotten。
"Theeoleareinbedandaftertheirfirstsleenow,
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