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第9章 the ntriu jug frg f cavera cunty（第1页）

MarkTwain

Incomliancewiththerequestofafriendofmine，whowrotemefromtheEast，Icalledongood-natured，garrulousoldSimonWheeler，andinquiredaftermyfriend&aos;sfriend，LeonidasW。

Smiley，asrequestedtodo，andIhereuntoaendtheresult。IhavealurkingsusicionthatLeonidasW。Smileyisamyth;thatmyfriendneverknewsuchaersonage;andthatheonlyconjecturedthatifIaskedoldWheelerabouthim，itwouldremindhimofhisinfamousJimSmiley，andhewouldgotoworkandboremetodeathwithsomeexaseratingreminiscenceofhimaslongandastediousasitshouldbeuselesstome。Ifthatwasthedesign，itsucceeded。

IfoundSimonWheelerdozingcomfortablybythebarroomstoveofthedilaidatedtaverninthedecayedminingcamofAngel&aos;s，andInoticedthathewasfatandbald-headed，andhadanexressionofwinninggentlenessandsimlicityuonhistranquilcountenance。Herousedu，andgavemegoodday。ItoldhimafriendofminehadcommissionedmetomakesomeinquiriesaboutacherishedcomanionofhisboyhoodnamedLeonidasW。Smiley-Rev。LeonidasW。Smiley，ayoungministeroftheGosel，whohehadheardwasatonetimearesidentofAngel&aos;sCam。IaddedthatifMr。WheelercouldtellmeanythingaboutthisRev。LeonidasW。Smiley，Iwouldfeelundermanyobligationstohim。

SimonWheelerbackedmeintoacornerandblockadedmetherewithhischair，andthensatdownandreeledoffthemonotonousnarrativewhichfollowsthisaragrah。Heneversmiled，heneverfrowned，heneverchangedhisvoicefromthegentle-flowingkeytowhichhetunedhisinitialsentence，heneverbetrayedtheslightestsusicionofenthusiasm;butallthroughtheinterminablenarrativethereranaveinofimressiveearnestnessandsincerity，whichshowedmelainlythat，sofarfromhisimaginingthattherewasanythingridiculousorfunnyabouthisstory，heregardeditasareallyimortantmatter，andadmireditstwoheroesasmenoftranscendentgeniusinfinesse。Ilethimgooninhisownway，andneverinterrrutedhimonce。

"Rev。LeonidasW。H&aos;m，ReverendLe-well，therewasafellerhereoncebythenameofJimSmiley，inthewinterof‘49-ormaybeitwasthesringof’50-Idon&aos;trecollectexactly，somehow，thoughwhatmakesmethinkitwasoneortheotherisbecauseIrememberthebigflumewarn&aos;tfinishedwhenhefirstcometothecam;butanyway，hewasthecuriousestmanaboutalwaysbettingonanythingthatturneduyoueversee，ifhecouldgetanybodytobetontheotherside;andifhecouldn&aos;the&aos;dchangesides。Anywaythatsuitedtheothermanwouldsuithim-anywayjustso&aos;shegotabet，hewassatisfied。Butstillhewaslucky，uncommonlucky;hemostalwayscomeoutwinner。Hewasalwaysreadyandlayingforachance;therecouldn&aos;tbenosolit&aos;rythingmentionedbutthatfeller&aos;doffertobetonit，andtakeanysideyoulease，asIwasjusttellingyou。Iftherewasahorse-race，you&aos;dfindhimflushoryou&aos;dfindhimbustedattheendofit;iftherewasadog-fight，he&aos;dbetonit;iftherewasacat-fight，he&aos;dbetonit;iftherewasachicken-fight，he&aos;dbetonit;why，iftherewastwobirdssettingonafence，hewouldbetyouwhichonewouldflyfirst;oriftherewasacam-meeting，hewouldbetherereg&aos;lartobetonParsonWalker，whichhejudgedtobethebestexhorterabouthere，andsohewastoo，andagoodman。Ifheevenseeastraddle-bugstarttogoanywheres，hewouldbetyouhowlongitwouldtakehimtogetto-towhereverhewasgoingto，andifyoutookhimu，hewouldfollerthatstraddle-bugtoMexicobutwhathewouldfindoutwherehewasboundforandhowlonghewasontheroad。LotsoftheboysherehasseenthatSmiley，andcantellyouabouthim。Why，itnevermadenodifferencetohim-he&aos;dbetonanything-thedangdestfeller。ParsonWalker&aos;swifelaidverysickonce，foragoodwhile，anditseemedasiftheywarn&aos;tgoingtosaveher;butonemorninghecomein，andSmileyuandaskedhimhowshewas，andhesaidshewasconsidablebetter-thanktheLordforhisinf&aos;nitmercy-andcomingonsosmartthatwiththeblessingofProv&aos;denceshe&aos;dgetwellyet;andSmiley，beforehethought，says，&aos;Well，I&aos;llresktwo-and-a-halfshedon&aos;tanyway。&aos;

"Thish-yerSmileyhadamare-theboyscalledherthefifteen-minutenag，butthatwasonlyinfun，youknow，becauseofcourseshewasfasterthanthat-andheusedtowinmoneyonthathorse，forallshewassoslowandalwayshadtheasthma，orthedistemer，ortheconsumtion，orsomethingofthatkind。Theyusedtogivehertwoorthreehundredyards&aos;start，andthenassherunderway;butalwaysatthefagendoftheraceshe&aos;dgetexcitedanddeseratelike，andcomecavortingandstraddlingu，andscatteringherlegsaroundlimber，sometimesintheair，andsometimesouttoonesideamongthefences，andkickingum-o-r-edustandraisingm-o-r-eracketwithhercoughingandsneezingandblowinghernose-andalwaysfetchuatthestandjustaboutaneckahead，asnearasyoucouldciheritdown。

"Andhehadalittlesmallbull-u，thattolookathimyou&aos;dthinkhewarn&aos;tworthacentbuttosetaroundandlookorneryandlayforachancetostealsomething。Butassoonasmoneywasuonhimhewasadifferentdog;hisunder-jaw&aos;dbegintostickoutlikethefo&aos;castleofasteamboat，andhisteethwoulduncoverandshinelikethefurnaces。Andadogmighttacklehimandbully-raghim，andbitehim，andthrowhimoverhisshouldertwoorthreetimes，andAndrewJackson-whichwasthenameoftheu-AndrewJacksonwouldneverletonbutwhathewassatisfied，andhadn&aos;texectednothingelse-andthebetsbeingdoubledanddoubledontheothersideallthetime，tillthemoneywasallu;andthenallofasuddenhewouldgrabthatotherdogjestbythej&aos;intofhishindlegandfreezetoit-notchaw，youunderstand，butonlyjustgriandhangontilltheythroweduthesonge，ifitwasayear。Smileyalwayscomeoutwinneronthatu，tillheharnessedadogoncethatdidn&aos;thavenohindlegs，becausethey&aos;dbeensawedoffinacircularsaw，andwhenthethinghadgonealongfarenough，andthemoneywasallu，andhecometomakeasnatchforhisetholt，heseeinaminutehowhe&aos;dsbeenimosedon，andhowtheotherdoghadhiminthedoor，sotoseak，andhe&aos;earedsurrised，andthenhelookedsorterdiscouraged-like，anddidn&aos;ttrynomoretowinthefight，andsohegotshuckedoutbad。HegiveSmileyalook，asmuchastosayhisheartwasbroke，anditwashisfault，foruttinguadogthathadn&aos;tnohindlegsforhimtotakeholtof，whichwashismaindeendenceinafight，andthenhelimedoffaieceandlaiddownanddied。Itwasagoodu，wasthatAndrewJackson，andwouldhavemadeanameforhimselfifhe&aos;dlived，forthestuffwasinhimandhehadgenius-Iknowit，becausehehadn&aos;tnooortunitiestoseakof，anditdon&aos;tstandtoreasonthatadogcouldmakesuchafightashecouldunderthemcircumstancesifhehadn&aos;tnotalent。ItalwaysmakesmefeelsorrywhenIthinkofthatlastfightofhis&aos;n，andthewayitturnedout。

"Well，thish-yerSmileyhadrat-tarriers，andchickencocks，andtomcatsandallthemkindofthings，tillyoucouldn&aos;trest，andyoucouldn&aos;tfetchnothingforhimtobetonbuthe&aos;dmatchyou。Hefetchedafrogoneday，andtookhimhome，andsaidhecal&aos;latedtoeducatehim;andsoheneverdonenothingforthreemonthsbutsetinhisbackyardandlearnthatfrogtojum。Andyoubetyouhedidlearnhim，too。He&aos;dgivehimalittleunchbehind，andthenextminuteyou&aos;dseethatfrogwhirlingintheairlikeadoughnut-seehimturnonesummerset，ormaybeacoule，ifhegotagoodstart，andcomedownflat-footedandallright，likeacat。Hegothimusointhematteroffetchingflies，andke‘himinracticesoconstant，thathe&aos;dnailaflyeverytimeasfurashecouldseehim。Smileyaidallafrogwantedwaseducation，andhecoulddo’mostanything-andIbelievehim。Why，I&aos;veseenhimsetDan&aos;lWebsterdownhereonthisfloor-Dan&aos;lWebsterwasthenameofthefrog-andsingout，‘Flies，Dan&aos;l，flies!’andquicker&aos;nyoucouldwinkhe&aos;dsringstraightuandsnakeaflyoff&aos;nthecounterthere，andflodownonthefloorag&aos;inassolidasagobofmud，andfalltoscratchingthesideofhisheadwithhishindfootasindifferentasifhehadn&aos;tnoideahe&aos;dbeendoin&aos;anymore&aos;nanyfrogmightdo。Youneverseeafrogsomodestandstraightfor&aos;ardashewas，forallhewassogifted。Andwhenitcometofairandsquarejumingonadeadlevel，hecouldgetovermoregroundatonestraddlethananyanimalofhisbreedyoueversee。Jumingonadeadlevelwashisstrongsuit，youunderstand;andwhenitcometothat，Smileywouldanteumoneyonhimaslongashehadared。Smileywasmonstrousroudofhisfrog，andwellhemightbe，forfellersthathadtraveledandbeeneverywheresallsaidhelaidoveranyfrogthatevertheysee。

"Well，Smileyke&aos;thebeastinalittlelatticebox，andheusedtofetchhimdown-townsometimesandlayforabet。Onedayafeller-astrangerinthecam，hewas-comeacrosthimwithhisbox，andsays:

"Whatmightitbethatyou&aos;vegotinthebox?

"

"AndSmileysays，sorterindifferent-like，‘Itmightbeaarrot，oritmightbeacanary，maybe，butitain&aos;t-it&aos;sonlyjustafrog。’

"

"Andthefellertookit，andlookedatitcareful，andturneditroundthiswayandthat，andsays，‘H&aos;m-so&aos;tis。Well，what&aos;shegoodfor?’

"

"‘Well，’Smileysays，easyandcareless，‘he&aos;sgoodenoughforonething，Ishouldjudge-hecanoutjumanyfroginCalaverascounty。’

"

"Thefellertooktheboxagain，andtookanotherlong，articularlook，andgiveitbacktoSmiley，andsays，verydeliberate，&aos;Well，&aos;hesays，‘Idon&aos;tseeno&aos;intsaboutthatfrogthat&aos;sanybetter&aos;nanyotherfrog。’

"

"‘Maybeyoudon&aos;t，’Smileysays。‘Maybeyouunderstandfrogsandmaybeyoudon&aos;tunderstand&aos;em;maybeyou&aos;vehadexerience，andmaybeyouain&aos;tonlyaamature，asitwere。Anyways，I&aos;vegotmyoinion，andI&aos;llreskfortydollarsthathecanoutjumanyfroginCalaverascounty。’

"Andthefellerstudiedaminute，andthensays，kindersadlike，‘Well，I&aos;monlyastrangerhere，andIain&aos;tgotnofrog;butifIhadafrog，I&aos;dbetyou。’

"AndthenSmileysays，‘That&aos;sallright-that&aos;sallright-ifyou&aos;llholdmyboxaminute，I&aos;llgoandgetyouafrog。’Andsothefellertookthebox，andutuhisfortydollarsalongwithSmiley&aos;s，andsetdowntowait。

"Sohesetthereagoodwhilethinkingandthinkingtohimself，andthenhegotthefrogoutandrizedhismouthoenandtookateasoonandfilledhimfullofquail-shot-filledhimrettynearutohischin-andsethimonthefloor。Smileyhewenttotheswamandsloedaroundinthemudforalongtime，andfinallyhefetchedafrog，andfetchedhimin，andgivehimtothisfeller，andsays:

"‘Now，ifyou&aos;reready，sethimalongsideofDan&aos;l，withhisforeawsjustevenwithDan&aos;l&aos;s，andI&aos;llgivetheword。’Thenhesays，&aos;One-two-three-git!andhimandthefellertoucheduthefrogsfrombehind，andthenewfroghoedofflively，butDan&aos;lgiveaheave，andhysteduhisshoulders-so-likeaFrenchman，butitwarn&aos;tnouse-hecouldn&aos;tbudge;hewaslantedassolidasachurch，andhecouldn&aos;tnomorestirthanifhewasanchoredout。Smileywasagooddealsurrised，andhewasdisgustedtoo，buthedidn&aos;thavenoideawhatthematterwas，ofcourse。

"Thefellertookthemoneyandstartedaway;andwhenhewasgoingoutatthedoor，hesorterjerkedhisthumboverhisshoulder-so-atDan&aos;l，andsaysagain，verydeliberate，‘Well，’hesays，‘Idon&aos;tseeno&aos;intsaboutthatfrogthat&aos;sanybetter&aos;nanyotherfrog。’

"SmileyhestoodscratchinghisheadandlookingdownatDan&aos;lalongtime，andatlasthesays，&aos;Idowonderwhatinthenationthatfrogthrow&aos;dofffor-Iwonderifthereain&aos;tsomethingthematterwithhim-he&aos;searstolookmightybaggy，somehow。&aos;AndheketchedDan&aos;lbythenaoftheneck，andheftedhim，andsays，&aos;Whyblamemycatsifhedon&aos;tweighfiveound!&aos;andturnedhimusidedownandhebelchedoutadoublehandfulofshot。Andthenheseehowitwas，andhewasthemaddestman-hesetthefrogdownandtookoutafterthatfeller，butheneverketchedhim。And-

"

[HereSimonWheelerheardhisnamecalledfromthefrontyard，andgotutoseewhatwaswanted。]Andturningtomeashemovedaway，hesaid:

"Justsetwhereyouare，stranger，andresteasy-Iain&aos;tgoingtobegoneasecond。

"

But，byyourleave，IdidnotthinkthatacontinuationofthehistoryoftheenterrisingvagabondJimSmileywouldbelikelytoaffordmemuchinformationconcerningtheRev。LeonidasW。Smiley，andsoIstartedaway。

AtthedoorImetthesociableWheelerreturning，andhebuttonholedmeandrecommenced:

"Well，thish-yerSmileyhadayallerone-eyedcowthatdidn&aos;thavenotail，onlyjustashortstumlikeabannanner，and-

"

However，lackingbothtimeandinclination，Ididnotwaittohearabouttheafflictedcow，buttookmyleave。

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